A call from the Dalai Lama

“Hello,” said the voice on the phone. “My name is Lhamo Dondrub. I know you never expected a call from me, as famous as I am, but I’ve been given your name as someone who can help me find an innovative solution for retaining my old teeth eternally. I know you have devised a method that can make this possible”.

“Is this a prank call?”, I demanded. “No, I am on the verge of losing my teeth to old age unless you help me. I have been told that you are creating new methods of dental treatment through your knowledge of ancient scripts and futuristic scientific techniques. Help me with this major tooth dilemma and I promise I will be in your debt forever. That is, until I die of course. What do you say?”

At this point I was starting to think that this could be the real Dalai Lama. I mean, I have read about his teeth misery over countless shallow news articles and it is not a secret that I helped the President of the German Scientific Community to replace all of his teeth with titanium enriched stabilizers that will essentially make them impervious to cavities and 149 different gum infections.

“Alright, I’ll help you. But I have a condition.”

“Anything.” He replied desperately.

“I will need a cold biopsy of your brain so I can study your analytical process and perfect my philosophical theories for future generations. A minor cold biopsy won’t hurt you in any way, I swear”

“Alright I’ll need to talk to my people about this but I think its safe to say that you can go ahead and start making preparations for both the procedures.”

“Great! I’m looking forward to seeing you soon.” I put down my ear piece and took out a long piece of paper from the bottom shelf of my desk. Dalai Lama, the name was easy enough to find, it was only the fifth name on the list. I crossed it in a swift motion and a knowing smile slowly spread across my face.

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